tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91070052614532585752012-01-23T19:56:27.711-05:00The Blog of David Fairhurst, or A Pessimist in Optimist's ClothingDavid Fairhursthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051770556511259016noreply@blogger.comBlogger131100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107005261453258575.post-82614917633090833742012-01-17T01:59:00.000-05:002012-01-23T19:56:27.721-05:00<br /><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">…that I still have all my teeth. Oh, wait. Never mind.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9107005261453258575-8261491763309083374?l=daveofthefuture.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>David Fairhursthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051770556511259016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107005261453258575.post-48850862773854146212012-01-16T10:00:00.000-05:002012-01-22T01:32:31.081-05:00<br /><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">…that I have a job. Oh, wait. Never mind.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9107005261453258575-4885086277385414621?l=daveofthefuture.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>David Fairhursthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051770556511259016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107005261453258575.post-9346925618963602462012-01-13T15:02:00.000-05:002012-01-21T15:03:13.136-05:00<br /><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">…that I don't have any tattoos. Because tattoos mean that law enforcement authorities always have a way to identify you. Also, coroners.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9107005261453258575-934692561896360246?l=daveofthefuture.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>David Fairhursthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051770556511259016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107005261453258575.post-57587590106735049182012-01-12T14:57:00.000-05:002012-01-21T15:00:19.564-05:00<br /><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">…for the guy who laid me off. Because before I was laid off, whenever I felt bad about the state of my life, I had no one to blame but myself. Well, not anymore!</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9107005261453258575-5758759010673504918?l=daveofthefuture.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>David Fairhursthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051770556511259016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107005261453258575.post-49318217351354904722012-01-11T22:19:00.000-05:002012-01-22T01:35:51.299-05:00<br /><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">…that I was laid off today. Because it means my future is a mystery, and I love a good mystery.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9107005261453258575-4931821735135490472?l=daveofthefuture.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>David Fairhursthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051770556511259016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107005261453258575.post-50384639403022506392012-01-10T23:50:00.000-05:002012-01-21T14:51:34.095-05:00<br /><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">…for the two Mormon missionaries who volunteered to help me put out the trash tonight. Even if they were only doing it to get into heaven, I still appreciate it.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9107005261453258575-5038463940302250639?l=daveofthefuture.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>David Fairhursthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051770556511259016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107005261453258575.post-15411371312793965952012-01-09T10:19:00.000-05:002012-01-21T14:46:59.758-05:00<br /><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">…that I have as many faults as I do. Because it means I'll never run out of things to improve.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9107005261453258575-1541137131279396595?l=daveofthefuture.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>David Fairhursthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051770556511259016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107005261453258575.post-87524393546020604032012-01-06T19:08:00.000-05:002012-01-08T13:24:53.811-05:00<br /><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">…for the colossal man who sat right up against me on the subway this morning and refused to slide over until I deliberately farted in his direction, proving that I have the power to move mountains. Or at least my farts do.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9107005261453258575-8752439354602060403?l=daveofthefuture.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>David Fairhursthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051770556511259016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107005261453258575.post-85316699639464499592012-01-05T08:56:00.000-05:002012-01-06T08:59:22.390-05:00<br /><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">…that I have a roof over my head. Next goal: walls.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9107005261453258575-8531669963946449959?l=daveofthefuture.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>David Fairhursthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051770556511259016noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107005261453258575.post-36460683387264878902012-01-04T08:00:00.000-05:002012-01-04T08:34:07.221-05:00<br /><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">…that the older I get, the more attractive I become to desperate single women. If I’m still alive and unattached at 90, I’ll have to fight them off with my walker. In the course of which I’ll accidentally rip out my I.V., collapse, and die on the floor. But the women will weep over my body, which is some consolation, I suppose.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9107005261453258575-3646068338726487890?l=daveofthefuture.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>David Fairhursthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051770556511259016noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107005261453258575.post-8733321787565757652012-01-03T13:00:00.004-05:002012-01-04T09:34:29.997-05:00<br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">...for those people in my life who never fail to make me feel like a genius.</span></span><br /><div><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9107005261453258575-873332178756575765?l=daveofthefuture.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>David Fairhursthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051770556511259016noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107005261453258575.post-12697045051181457262012-01-02T11:46:00.000-05:002012-01-02T12:22:39.129-05:00<br /><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">…that I’m not dying of some horrible disease. Although I probably am, since the horrible disease that will someday kill me undoubtedly already exists in my body in a primordial state. So what I should really say is: Today I’m grateful that my horrible disease has not yet begun to show symptoms.</span></div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9107005261453258575-1269704505118145726?l=daveofthefuture.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>David Fairhursthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051770556511259016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107005261453258575.post-10588421871365694272012-01-01T15:31:00.000-05:002012-01-02T11:54:35.352-05:00<br /><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">…that the adversity I face every day of my life is making me stronger, theoretically.</span></div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9107005261453258575-1058842187136569427?l=daveofthefuture.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>David Fairhursthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051770556511259016noreply@blogger.com1